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  • Tanae Briana

arting through depression...

So I recently went through a breakup... And it's weird because the day it happened, it hit me immediately and I cried for about 30 minutes and then I left work. But once I got home, I was fine. I was actually in a cheerful mood. And my friend came and got me and we went out to eat and we drank and we had a good time. And I got back in the house and finished the complete outline of my next piece. And I thought something was wrong with me. Because I wasn't feeling sad and this was the best relationship I've ever had.

And then the next few days, when I would get home from work, I just didn't feel like drawing at all. I think I came home and went straight to bed for three days straight. Like it was finally kind of affecting me. But it didn't affect me for long, because I finally worked on the piece again last night and got about 2/3 of it done in one night. Which never happens...

I remember back in 2015 when I went through the WORST, most depressing breakup of my life. Oh my God. I didn't even get out of bed for almost a week. And when I did, I could barely function. But within a few weeks, I was drawing every day and 2015 ended up being my most creative and productive year as an artist. Then I think about 2016 when I was poor and lonely and all by myself in a new city/state from January - August. And it was the total opposite... I created, but very little and it was mostly commission work or pieces I ended up hating. Not to mention my laptop broke and so did my tripod so I eventually stopped making youtube videos along with drawing. It was the worst.

So my first experience with having to be an artist through a very depressing time turned out pretty great, the second time was pretty bad lol. I'm hoping this time will at least be somewhere in the middle. I'm only just now starting to develop my own style and create 100% original pieces that come completely from my mind. So hopefully I don't stop now.

Here's a throwback sketch from 2014, the year I learned color pencil. This was the first halfway decent mouth drawing I was able to do.

#artistthoughts #workinprogress #prismacolor #nupastel #derwent #softpastel #ampersandpastelbord #throwbackart

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