• Tanae Briana

the fucking struggle to find my own unique style!!!


Yall. It's been a tough year lol. A very productive, educational, fun year. But a tough one. As you know, I gave up my grid and haven't used one all of 2017. I did that because I was afraid of losing my ability to freehand, and also because I felt like it hindered my creativity. Not to mention it made me feel like a fraud lol (I don't think artists who use grids are frauds at all, btw!). So I retested the freehand waters with my first self portrait in two years and it went fucking amazing. Tried my hand at it again with my Jay Park portrait and it went fucking AHMAZING. And I felt like I got my fucking mojo back or something. It was like I was somehow even better at it than I was before even though I hadn't done it since 2014.

Another change I made this year was that I started attempting to draw faces from my own imagination rather than always referencing a photo. I wanted to come up with my own 100% original art for obvious reasons. And I've been drawing only faces for four years straight, so I should be able to draw a face without looking at one. And I could. I definitely could. But for some reason, when I draw from imagination, elements of the face seem to be.....idk...... missing? Like certain little touches that make it look realistic. If that makes sense. I just can't seem to shade the faces I create correctly. All the pieces I've come up with this year with the exception of the very first one just don't look like real people to me. Something is just....off.

Like yeah they look nice, but real faces don't look like that. And it's not even like I'm super big on making it look extra realistic. I mean, I love for my work to have a realistic look but still be obvious that I drew it. These faces just seem hella unfinished. And I can't pinpoint what the problem is. I've been scolding myself for at least a year and half over the fact that I do too many pieces and don't sketch or practice enough in between. I could definitely use it. Especially after the most recent piece I've worked on. She was supposed to be my Ocean Fairy. I expected big things from her :( lmfao but once again... ... I'm having this issue with her face that I can't seem to fix (see below).


I just envisioned this beautiful dark-skinned woman with these evening sky and the sun setting right behind her, setting off her silver hair. Ohhhhh the contrast!!!! Unfortunately, I've lost the inspiration for the piece.......FOR NOW. I definitely plan on going back to it some time in the future. Yes, I do actually revisit and complete pieces that are left unfinished for a while lol. I just gotta do some face studies first. That's what I plan on doing tonight soon as I get done writing this blog entry lol. Then when I'm better at creating faces from imagination, she'll come out so much better. What a waste of pastelbord though huh :/ lol.

Anyway, some good news is I got some new supplies coming in! Just ordered some small pastelbords and a lot of new covers for my pastel knives. The ones I had lasted me a good 5-6 pieces but I needed some fresh ones. Also ordered a precision knife so I can start cutting these 13x19" matte papers to make smaller prints. So 8x10" prints will be available in my shop pretty soon! As far as art updates, I plan to carry out this Jay Park series real soon. My timelapse video of his portrait got a lot of feedback on twitter (surprisingly) and people are encouraging me to go ahead and do that. And if I'm being totally honest, I reallyyyyy want to lol. His face is just perfection, I can't not draw it :)

Another art update: I'm seriously considering doing another redraw soon. Preferably of a piece I previously did in black and gray that I wanna do in color now. At the moment, it's between my Damian Marley and Michael Jackson drawings. I'll most likely get my followers to decide which one they would like to see most. Check out my latest youtube vid below :)


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